Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Wal-Mart Foot Disease

You guys...I can't even...
It's taken me until today to even be able to talk about it....
It's the wost, grossest, most disgusting thing ever...

I was loving the warm weather we had this past weekend.  Loving it so much I pulled out my flip flops to run a few errands.  Then the world laughed at me...HAHA you Dumb Idiot it's February, you can't wear flip flops!
And this happened...


In the parking lot of Wal-Mart.
Now normally I would say screw errands and go home.  But for some reason I thought I could fix my stupid flip flop.  I went all Macgyver on it.  I searched my car for anything that might fix it.  Things that I tried, but failed before landing on my final fix = tire pressure gage (did nothing), pen (nothing), mint (sort of worked but then I stepped and it broke).  Finally I thought of this...

I chewed a piece of gum and then stuck it on!  It totally worked.  Until I got just far enough away from my car.  Then it stuck to the pavement the entire flip flop fell apart and I was standing in the parking lot of Wal-Mart with one bare foot on the ground.  At that moment in time I made the quick decision to walk in to Wal-Mart one foot shoeless.  I walked straight to the shoe department and found a pair of slippers and put them on.  I figured wearing slippers in Wal-Mart was much less weird than one flip flop.  I did my shopping as quickly as possible trying not to think about how disgusting the bottom of my foot was and left.  All I could think about was getting home to soak, scrub, and wash my feet.  Then I got home and realized I still had the slippers on and had not paid for them!
F!
I threw the stupid slippers away knowing I would never put my foot inside one again and said screw it.
I soaked my feet and scrubbed the one until it was raw.  I'm still concerned it may have some weird disease living beneath my skin.  Just thinking about it gives me shivers.

Seriously I will never wear flip flops to Wal-Mart again...just in case.

XO XO,
I have a diseased foot :(