Tomorrow is match day. Tomorrow is the day Tom finds out if, when, and where he will be doing a Sports Medicine Fellowship. Tomorrow is the day I've been dreading / anxiously waiting for since July.
When going through match day for residency it was much different. Tom felt very confident that he would indeed match. The Medical school put on a huge party for the actual match process. Tom received an e-mail a few days prior letting him know he did indeed match. Everyone was going through it together. We had an inkling we would be moving out of state.
This time...a whole different ballgame. Tom does not feel 100% confident he will match. There is no party except the one we are throwing at our house for him and Maria (who is also going through match day). Tom didn't and won't receive an e-mail confirming he matched before tomorrow to ease that part of the process. Only one other person in his program is going through it with him. We have no idea where he will end up.
To say we are a bit nervous / on edge is a complete understatement. The other night I just started screaming at Tom for no reason what-so-ever, then went to buy him beer and started crying. I'm nuts.
I struggle with the idea that in one moment I will be happy, nervous, excited, sad, and shocked. I struggle with the concept that this is ALL for Tom and not me, I mean yes, it is about me a little but I need to make sure if I am sad about where he ends up even if it is a great spot I let him be happy and not make it about how I'm feeling. Or vice-versa if he's upset about the outcome and I'm happy. I don't know I just need to make sure I let him feel how he's feeling and not make it about me. I struggle often with the, "It's all about me" thing. I'm like a little kid. Oh Lord, I just hope tomorrow I can be an adult.
So, tomorrow...please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I know this isn't some life threatening procedure, but it is a BIG deal to us and we could use all the good thoughts we can get. My prayer for tomorrow is this: Please let Tom match, please help me be a good and supportive wife to Tom no matter what the outcome may be.
I'll make sure to let you all know (after family) what the outcome is. Thank you all for your support throughout this entire process.
Nervous Stomach in Knots Molly
The way the match process works, as I understand it, is as follows:
- You apply to programs (Tom applied to 77,000 I can't remember the actual number but it was more than 20)
- You receive interview requests (Tom received interviews at all the places he applied to except 2)
- You choose which interviews to accept (Tom accepted and went on 10 interviews: University of Minnesota, University of Iowa, Duke University, University of North Carolina, Moses Cone, Maine, University of Kentucky, Oklahoma City, Ohio State University, and Toledo.)
- You rank the programs and they rank you (basically Tom went through each program he interviewed at and had to decide his first, second, third, and so on choice. The programs do the same with all the people they interviewed.)
- You submit your rank list and the programs submit their rank list
- A computer program matches the lists up (for example if Tom ranked Iowa #1 and Iowa ranked him #1 that would be a perfect match and he would go there. It gets dicey when Tom ranks Iowa #1 and they rank him #2 but the person Iowa ranked #1 ranks Iowa #2. Its super confusing. The part that makes Tom so unsure about matching is all 10 programs could have ranked him high, but if he didn't rank them close to the same they might wash out and other people might get the spots.)
- Match Day (Tom doesn't know if he will get an e-mail or what or when but tomorrow is the day he finds out.)